Today, I took off my warrior mask. For the first time in a while, I faced emotions that were slowly bubbling up to the surface. I think it’s natural to feel this way, especially during this time. The last time I met these same constellations at night, my energy field was in a different plane. This time around, my headspace is moving in the opposite direction, leaving me off-balance, starting on the wrong foot.
As I tried to power through each moment of each day, I felt the mask beginning to disintegrate. Today, it finally broke into pieces. I gave in to my instincts. I was curious, I admit it. I had a partner-in-crime with me, and together, like hungry creatures, we set out on our mission. Did I see what I wanted to see? Maybe yes, maybe no. But what I know for sure is that I was shaken, and it stirred something deep inside me.
Emotions, insecurities, and familiar trains of thought came rushing in. I’ve been carrying them for months now. Surprisingly, the things that stood out were not the ones I was expecting. The focus shifted more toward the two souls involved and the dynamics they held within that relationship.
I realized that the soul I came to know well is truly full of life and deeply career-driven. He is making his mark in this world. He is someone so accustomed to being in the limelight, and he uses it well. In contrast, I am the kind of soul most comfortable watching from the sidelines. I tell myself that each person carries a unique role in this world. Not everyone can be a soldier marching on the frontlines. Some are meant to be nurses, tending to the wounded. In my own way, I believe I am also contributing to the world, in my own little (and quiet) way.
Aside from our roles, our worlds were also vastly different. His is a fast-paced city filled with busy people, blinding lights, and loud crowds. Mine is a peaceful green suburb, with a slow and steady life deeply connected to the spiritual energy of nature.
The Universe orchestrated these two people from different worlds to meet, and oh, how they connected. Yet integrating into each other’s worlds would have been disorienting. His drive would feel slowed down, while her being pulled into his fast-paced world would drain her life energy. The stakes were high, and it was inevitable that later on, they would realize they were simply not aligned.
And then I ask the same questions again. Why allow us to meet? What’s the purpose of imprinting on each other without being soulmates? It’s a harsh truth I am still trying to swallow. I crave that soul connection because I have seen how beautiful and precious that soul is. I have never met anyone like that in this world, perhaps not even in this lifetime. With a heavy heart, I always ask the Universe: why allow things to unfold this way? Could it not have been done differently?
Instead of answers, I now carry more questions... questions that may someday be answered, or perhaps never at all. I must learn to accept both possibilities. I have to understand that some souls meet, and once they have fulfilled their purpose in each other’s lives, the Universe pulls them apart, because their story is done.
And even if the Universe tells me the purpose is complete, the imprint will always remain, like a tattoo on the skin. The soul never forgets its mate.
And as much as I know that he doesn't believe in these things, I just wanna say... I hope to meet you again, if not in this lifetime, then maybe in another one, where it all works out.
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